Day 3: What a little lunchbox is teaching me about Enough.

Imagine with me that you have company coming over for dinner in a few hours. Soon the door will open, coats will be taken, hugs will be given, laughter will fill the room, mouths will  be fed. There's joy in hostessing. There's privilege in providing nourishment. I'm guessing the first thing you do is sit down and prepare a menu. Then maybe you deep clean the house.  Dust off your fine china. Next is that run to the grocery store. There's a sense of anticipation, excitement, maybe some stress. Why? You want to make sure you're prepared so that your guests both get what they need AND have a warm and pleasant experience so that they'll come again. 

Now imagine a different scenario. You have company coming over for dinner in a few hours, but you proceed to neglect menu planning, forego housecleaning and simply warm up what's leftover in the refrigerator. As guests enter with hungry stomachs anticipating good company, they find that you just plain didn't have enough for them. 

The latter is how I felt just a few months ago. 

Many of you know that my job is a 10 months-a-year job. I live where I work. I share life, disciple, mentor, and oversee a group of male and female college people. The other 2 months are spent recovering, resting, recharging, and all of those other really important "re" words that make me feel human again. When mid July roles around, I'm ready for structure and work responsibilities again. Most years this is how it goes. 

But not this year. 

I can't exactly explain where those 2 months went, because I did indeed have time off. However, I don't think I made time for those very important "re" things. I still felt used up and fried from the last school year. I had no sense of anticipation for a fresh start. So as work began, I felt myself dig my metaphorical heels in the ground, refusing to accept the fact that it was time to begin again. I felt that dinner company's nearing presence, that knock on the door, those anticipatory looks...and I wasn't prepared. I didn't have enough. 

I looked ahead and all I could see were thousands of mouths needing to be fed, hearts seeking nourishment from me, and my hands were empty. 

How could I be a vessel of nourishment to these hungry people when all I could think about was how to get my own needs met??

I read this passage in John and it absolutely came alive with meaning:

Some time after this, Jesus crossed to the far shore of the Sea of Galilee (that is, the Sea of Tiberias), and a great crowd of people followed him because they saw the signs he had performed by healing the sick. Then Jesus went up on a mountainside and sat down with his disciples. The Jewish Passover Festival was near.

When Jesus looked up and saw a great crowd coming toward him, he said to Philip, “Where shall we buy bread for these people to eat?” He asked this only to test him, for he already had in mind what he was going to do.

Philip answered him, “It would take more than half a year’s wages to buy enough bread for each one to have a bite!”

Another of his disciples, Andrew, Simon Peter’s brother, spoke up, “Here is a boy with five small barley loaves and two small fish, but how far will they go among so many?”

Jesus said, “Have the people sit down.” There was plenty of grass in that place, and they sat down (about five thousand men were there).  Jesus then took the loaves, gave thanks, and distributed to those who were seated as much as they wanted. He did the same with the fish.

 When they had all had enough to eat, he said to his disciples, “Gather the pieces that are left over. Let nothing be wasted.” So they gathered them and filled twelve baskets with the pieces of the five barley loaves left over by those who had eaten.

Here is Jesus, entertaining some 5000 hungry houseguests, and He is completely unfrazzled by scarcity. Cool story, huh? It's a miracle story we all know. It's not new. However, this story took on new meaning for me as I applied this concept of enough to my feelings of unpreparedness. I think there's something you can apply to your own inadequacy too: 

1. Scarcity is the avenue to miraculous provision. Don't feel like you have enough to give? Feeling inadequate? Buckle your seatbelt. Jesus cares more about people's basic needs than you do. And He makes it happen in a huge way. 

2. A little is a lot in the hands of our Creator. A sweet boy offered his lunchbox with grace. It was only enough to feed himself, if that. Jesus saw his faith, accepted his simple gift and made it into something that was { more  than } enough. Are you willing to sacrifice the little that you have, even if you feel like you do not have enough, trusting that the Lord your God is able? Your little tithe, your spare time, your humble gifts? Nothing is too difficult for Him. 

3. God delights in giving abundantly. It would've been miracle enough for the people to have even a few bites each. But Jesus didn't stop there. He provides big and loves big in a way that reflects the Father heart of God. After they'd all had their fill, there were TWELVE baskets of leftovers. TWELVE! Not only does God desire to meet a need, He delights in shocking us with His lavish love. If we are willing to trust and sacrifice the little we have, He multiplies it and sustains us. There is no end to His generosity. This is the "immeasurably more" God we place our hope in. 

This is the first time { more than } enough was brought to my attention. With this miraculous story came a wave of promise. It's the promise I'm clinging to as I daily pry my fingers off of my little lunchbox and surrender it to Him. I'm no longer worried about how to meet my own needs first- sometimes sacrifice means beginning before you feel ready to start. Then you sit back and watch as the Lord does His BIG work. 

Scarcity + Sacrifice = { more than } Enough. 

I'm not scared of not feeling prepared. I'm also not scared that I won't have enough to do my calling. My little is becoming a lot and I am anticipating a wondrous display of more than enough.