Day 25: As much information as I need.

I have quit watching the news these days. It's not because I don't care about current events or what's happening outside of my small world, because I do. It's not because I can't handle things that aren't happy, because I can. It's just that the everyday brokenness beats around and weathers my already anxious heart. 

Plane crash. 
Shooting.
Political campaign. 
Some big business going bankrupt. 
Someone suing someone over something ridiculous. 

I feel the birth pains, the earth longing for restoration and justice. Yes, there is hope in these tumultuous days because of the joy that is to come. But oh my heavens, I just can't stick my fearful self into the swirling whirlwind of evil in the name of being "current". 

When I have spent too much time reading up on the nitty gritty details of current events, I get incredibly overwhelmed. Information doesn't empower me, it paralyzes me. Then I start asking questions like, 

Why?
When, God? 

Anxiety makes me feel entitled to know all the answers. Rather than spend time in prayer, I decide I'd like to avoid anything that could remotely be dangerous. Like yesterday's post stated, I like to fix and feel like I have even a little bit of control. Withdrawal and "having a plan" gives me the illusion that I can keep a tight reign over my world. That if I'm so so so so careful and avoid anything scary, my small bubble will never bump into evil. I guess that kind of works for a while. If I stay in our apartment with doors locked, unwilling to even leave to purchase food or see people, very little bad will happen to me. Very little good will happen to me too. I will also forfeit all of the very beautiful things that come from engaging this world too. That is no way to live. 

What does this have to do with enough? 

Well, that's a good question. I suppose what I'm learning is that life doesn't come with a safety guarantee. It doesn't insure that my world will not encounter chaos at times and even some evil. I wish it did. But what is offered to me is enough. I know enough to live in complete and utter peace in the midst of disaster. Here is the message of enough I'm choosing to meditate on. May it surround your heart with peace today as it does mine. 

God is our refuge and strength,

    a very present help in trouble.

Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way,

    though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea,

 

though its waters roar and foam,

    though the mountains tremble at its swelling. Selah

There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,

    the holy habitation of the Most High.

God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved;

    God will help her when morning dawns.

 

The nations rage, the kingdoms totter;

    he utters his voice, the earth melts.

 

The Lord of hosts is with us;

    the God of Jacob is our fortress. Selah

Come, behold the works of the Lord,

    how he has brought desolations on the earth.

 

He makes wars cease to the end of the earth;

    he breaks the bow and shatters the spear;

    he burns the chariots with fire.

 

“Be still, and know that I am God.

    I will be exalted among the nations,

    I will be exalted in the earth!”

 

The Lord of hosts is with us;

    the God of Jacob is our fortress. 

{ Psalm 46 }