Saturday, October 17, 2015

Day 16: Over commitment issues and a book recommendation.

There is an area of my life where there is an overabundance and it’s not a good thing.

Sometimes there’s just so much extra packed into one day.

Coffee with a friend
4 meetings in a row
Complete that deadline
Make dinner and deliver it to a recovering friend from church.
Find something fast to re-heat and eat for dinner
Run to the social gathering
Get home late and crawl into bed exhausted

Usually extra is fun. A little extra whipped cream on that mocha, a little extra ice cream on that piece of pie (is it a bad thing that both of these examples involve dessert??)

I can tell when I’ve packed the days too full when I start feeling grumpy. When I start to daydream about escaping to a little secluded cottage by myself, I can tell that I’m reaching my max. Even high extraverts have limits! I’ve found mine.

This is a frequent flier topic around our house these days.

Many times when Thursday night rolls around, I realize that we haven’t allowed ourselves even an hour to sit, look each other in the eyes, enjoy a meal or a movie or a conversation. And the little 6-year-old in me who wants to get her way gets cranky. The other night on such a Thursday I brought this up on our way out the door.  The look on my husband’s face was a mixture of caution, bewilderment and a bit of relief at my declaration.

I’m the one who schedules us this much, huh?

With an I’m-not-going-to-answer-that-but-thanks-for-coming-to-that-realization response written on his face, my over commitment issues slapped me right in the face.

Busy isn’t bad, but frazzled hurry is dangerous. It acts as sandpaper on our sense of wellbeing, on our relationships, on the health of our home. I had become a Queen of Hurry and the calendar proved it. In fact, I no longer had control of our calendar; it had become our dictator, bossily barking us through the day. But I had given it that power.

So I saw this book on a friend’s bookshelf.


It had me at “The” (because let’s be honest- how cute is this cover?!) And the subtitle, “making wise decisions in the midst of endless demands” felt like it was written for me, the Queen of Hurry.

Do I have any other hurried friends out there?

I recommend this gem of a book. I think Lysa and I are soul friends- she must’ve been thinking of me as she lovingly wrote each page. A few of my favorite quotes are:

The decisions you make determine the schedule you keep. The schedule you keep determines the life you live. And how you live your life determines how you spend your soul.

Never is a woman so fulfilled as when she chooses to underwhelm her schedule so she can let God overwhelm her soul. 

I will not let the awkward disappointment of others keep me from my Best Yes appointments with God.

And so I’m un-learning hurry. I'm working through my over commitment issues. I’m disowning my addiction to extra activities (even though they are good ones) because I’m realizing that it’s definitely not the life abundant that God ever dreamed for me. It’s going to take time but I’m learning to say “enough is enough” in order to have space to connect, clean the house, do something fun, and play and work with my husband.


No is not a bad word, and yes is getting less abused these days. Here’s to a healthier, more fun, more balanced pace of life.




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