Day 11: Be careful where your peace comes from

I realize I have already mentioned this once. However, I only really very briefly referenced it. It's something I've been really anxious about the last few days so it would be silly to be sharing words about bravery and not reference the thought that frequents my nervous brain as of late. 

I am pretty freaked out about Ebola. 

I can't quite identify quite why. Well, besides the fact that it is a life-threatening illness without a cure. It hasn't yet touched my life or even the life of anyone I know. But I can't rule out that it ever would. 

Fear thrives in the dark. It feeds on those thoughts that are not quite unreasonable. Fear devours and grows with every 'what if' or 'could'. If I can't rule it out, it scares me. With every news story, every interview my 'what if's get bigger. I would be lying if I told you that I haven't started planning what my underground, disease-free fortress looks like. I've abused my little personal bottle of hand sanitizer. I have dry, scaly skin to prove it. 

So I've looked up statistics. I've clung to facts and reason to try to dispute my fright. I've contemplated the quality of the United States' medical care and hospitals, attempting to positively self-talk myself out of possibilities. 

It's still scary. 

Is there another antidote for this fear? I sure hope so. While discussing my wandering, spiraling scrutiny with a brother friend, he said something simply. He said something deeply, profoundly true by asking me what I knew without a doubt to be true. I thought, dug down deep, and responded, 

I know that no matter what, God is good. He can be trusted. And I belong to Him. 

He smiled. Then he asked me to say it again, this time with fuller confidence. 

I know that no matter what, God is GOOD. He can be trusted. And I belong to Him!! 

Somehow saying these words, that didn't even mention ebola or my fear or my probability of contracting this disease, started the journey to set me free. 

It's funny when we try to use facts and science and tangible proof to find peace. We end up chasing peace for longer. Our peace needs to come from something deeper, bigger. Peace is the anchor that keeps me stable, unfettered by circumstances and able to find joy right in the middle of evil. Right in the middle of a disease. Even if you cannot rule it out. Peace takes away the need to. 

Be careful where your peace comes from. It may not be peace. May you find it in the deep, unshakable truth of the character of our God and your security as His child.