We research, weigh the pros and cons, check reviews, try before we buy and analyze, analyze, analyze.
How does this suit MY needs??
If the potential purchase is a precious gem or a plasma television or a home, this makes sense. It's even wise.
BUT. It saddens me that this same consumeristic mindset is used by believers when choosing a church.
Is the pastor funny? Does he preach exegetically? From the ESV? Will it meet me where I'm at spiritually? Is the music professional quality? Is the sound not too loud, not too soft? Are there enough hymns? No hymns? Is this church relevant? Will it have everything to meet mine and my family's needs? Does the youth pastor wear hip designer jeans? Do we receive a friendly smile and greeting from everyone on the first day we visit? Gee, I sure hope they aren't one of those "seeker friendly" churches.
The desire to get a good buy, to get the most of your money is not a bad thing. But we cannot bring this same process into our journey of finding a body of believers to grow with. Though finding a church is a big decision, it is not AT ALL the same as purchasing your first home or your dream TV.
There are a few things to remember when deciding on a church home. Or deciding whether or not to stick with yours.
1. Church is an earthly representation of a perfect union. Therefore, your church will be imperfect. It is a gathering of spirit-filled believers who bear the stains and scars of sin. The people next to you in the pew will disappoint and hurt you sometimes. Even the pastor (gasp!) will offend you occasionally. Why? Because the church was never meant to meet all of your deepest relational needs. We are all on this bumpy journey to becoming Christ-like. We are both already and not yet like Christ. This journey takes forgiveness. It takes grace. Lower your unhealthy expectations that you project onto the leadership and people of the church.
2. If you are willing, restoration can be found. Like most meaningful (and eternal) relationships, brokenness happens. We know this, but it always seems to catch us off guard for some reason. The easy response is to walk away, disillusioned and burnt out. But it takes bravery to stay put, ask questions to gain understanding, then shut up and listen. You can choose to stick with what you committed to, even though it has let you down, and restoration is possible. BUT, it will be hard. Expect it. Roll up your sleeves, pray hard and fight for restoration. It's worth it. Do the brave thing.
3. Know what the essentials are. There are absolutes in God's Word. Absolutes that define the pillars of our faith. Absolutes that have never and will never change about God's character and His design for us. However, there are things that have not been implicitly stated that we have grafted into our church code of conduct. Sometimes no one is sure how it got there. Maybe tradition, maybe just bad exegesis. These are what I'm going to call the non-essentials. These are the non salvation-oriented things that the church is really good at wounding people with. Also, these are the things that many leave churches for. These need to be moved from the "must have" category to the "luxury" category. The imperfect, God-designed beauty of the church is that it is comprised of different types of Christians. All different shapes, sizes, colors and opinions on these non-essentials. We need them all. Remove the diversity and we become a cult. Make sure if you are considering a church or considering leaving a church, you've prayerfully sorted out if you're caught up on an essential or a non-essential.
"In the essentials unity, in the nonessentials liberty".
Augustine
4. The church does not exist to meet your needs. Yes, come hungry. You will be fed. Yes, come weary and you will find strength. However, these are both things found in your relationship with a living God. They are offered to you daily, hourly. A church gathering is not the only place to be filled. It is an extension of your personal daily worship, just paired with fellowship and public expression. True growth happens in AND outside of church walls. The church represents a perfect union between Christ and His bride to a dying world. How can we represent such a union when we are busy turning up our noses and getting our panties in a bunch over things that don't suit our fancy?
5. Be the change you want to see. Want more of something in your church? See a need for change? Have you ever considered that you might be the solution? Don't get irritated about a lack, sit and wait for change or leave because of it. Talk to your pastors, ask questions to understand why, then ask yourself how you can be a part of the change.
There is no exact prescription for finding the perfect church fit. There are also exceptions. The point is, church consumerism is an unhealthy pattern. The funny thing about patterns is- they repeat. No matter the church.
Pick a church in your community. Know the essentials. Plant your roots. Commit to growing and sharing life alongside imperfect people. Commit to being Jesus in your community. It might hurt, it might be hard. But why does it matter? It's not/never been about you. Let's drop the consumeristic mentality.
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