Depression. Anxiety. Their greasy, poisonous, suffocating existence steals joy and forces isolation. Did you know that anxiety disorders affect 40 million Americans over the age of 18? Depression is the leading cause of disability for ages 15-44*. Those who have struggled often feel trapped, and down they spiral into a pit that feels overwhelmingly deep. Sometimes these conditions exist for a season following a major life change. Sometimes they have simply always been present. The origin varies, but that's not the point.
The point is- they DO exist. Depression is real. Anxiety is a thing. They are deep, they are complicated. They are not imagined.
Trust me, I know.
I've wrestled with Generalized Anxiety for most of my adult life. Here's the thing about anxiety- it comes in waves. Some days it's overwhelming. Some days it's manageable, though always always there. I call it my little black rain cloud, hovering overhead waiting for something to land on. I often feel like I'm playing "whack a mole", running around trying to bop my little worries on the head to make them disappear. And some days, it's just too hard to keep up. Friend, if this sounds familiar, take heart. You are more than a conqueror.
Many well-meaning church goers advised that it was all spiritual. That I should exercise greater spiritual disciplines to manage anxiety. So pray I did. Read my bible, met with a mentor, and memorized scripture. I fought and I fought hard. These were all beneficial and eternally worthwhile. But try as I might, that unwelcome friend, that pesky joy-stealing thief would not leave. I can't blame them for their advice. Those who have not walked this road seem to have a very easy solution. Those who have walked this road know that it is so much more messy than that.
I don't have an answer for how to solve the problem of depression and anxiety. But I do know it exists. Even to people who love Jesus (gasp!). Here's what I've learned in my journey to health:
1. Counseling is a very GOOD idea. Not psycho-babble, Freud-loving, Zen-like counseling but Biblically-based counseling. Someone with whom to share the soul by speaking a similar heart dialect. Someone to pray, seek Scripture and face hard truths with. Call me crazy (no pun intended) but I think every person needs some good counseling for at least one season of life. It takes bravery to ask for help.
2. There is strength in numbers. We are all pilgrims on a journey to our heavenly home. Strength grows when we share our story. We offer strength to other pilgrims. They share too and we grab hands and continue moving together. Anxiety & depression thrive in isolation but it's worth the hard work to invest in friendships. Oh, the joy that is shared when the burden is shared.
3. Over-spiritualization is very damaging. What truly saddens me is that Christians are the worst at asking for help. Christians (not all but many) respond to anxiety and depression with trite pep talks and try-harder messages. Often there is a stigma, draping shame and guilt over top of the child-like faith response to seek help. Oftentimes these well-meaning, though wrong, sentiments are offered in the name of our Savior. I feel like the heart of God grieves when his people speak out-of-place words on His behalf. Sometimes these disorders are the result of trauma or unresolved conflict. If that is the case, grab that helping hand and prayerfully dig down deep to find it. Other times, these disorders are a predisposition or a genuine physical imbalance. If that is the case and a physician recommends medication, faith takes a new form. A prayerful yes could be a great leap of faith. For many, medication helps restore the healthy self once again. This should never be a knee-jerk response to psychological stress, though it is a valid, non-shameful stepping stone to healing. (This was a very radical and very freeing realization!)
It's time to look at these things differently. It's time to applaud those who stand up, admit a need, admit a hurt or habit and reach their hand out toward professional healing. No more spiritually-muscling our way through a disorder. That is just about as effective as using positive self-talk to rid the body of a sore throat. It's time to utilize the God-given tools available to help get un-stuck. It's time for the church to praise and advocate for christian counseling. It's time to roll up our sleeves, do some hard soul-searching work, and do the brave thing.
So back to my story. Anxiety is still a struggle. Maybe it always will be until I get to Heaven. However, I have grown and accumulated effective tools to manage it. Even more importantly, my little box of understanding of these disorders has expanded. My empathy has expanded. It is no longer a stronghold due to the grace of God, faithful counseling and my decision to actually deal with it.
It's time to call it what it is and ask for help. It's not for the faint of heart. But it's worth it.
*Anxiety & Depression Association of America
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