Day 29: Bold enough to enter the throne room.

Remember when you were a small child and you needed something? Or remember when you even just wanted something badly? What would you do?

Ask. Okay, sometimes beg unbecomingly. But your request was clear, right? 

Maybe that request was heard, but not always granted. Or sometimes it was. Sometimes it was granted with gladness, bringing happiness to your heart. 

But somewhere along the way it became embarrassing to ask. Something crept up into the grownup psyche, something masked as polite. Pride? Self-consciousness? Probably because you were told not to beg. Begging is bad behavior. But what about asking? 

I believe this has completely messed with our prayer life. We come, tiptoe'ing, eyes closed for fear of the response. We open our shaking lips to whisper a prayer that is mostly composed of unclear mumblings, a fearful attempt at humbleness. We say amen, realizing that what we just said didn't even make sense. We were so afraid of over-asking, of begging like a child that we forgot to even ask at all. When did asking become something to be embarrassed by? When did this open relationship became hindered by such unclear words and shakiness? 

For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin. Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

{ Hebrews 4:15-16 }

The One who delivers- the perfect high priest who strives on our behalf so that we may have relationship with God offers Himself freely. The doors of the throne room are open wide, a warm invitation is extended from the One who lived this life, suffered this life. He gets it. He pleads for us to enter, assuring us that there is nothing too shocking or too messy for Him. He bids us to come in, asks to take our coat, His warm presence encouraging us to ask. To ask with confidence! He has the means to offer grace and meet those deepest needs. Why not ask? Asking does 2 things:

1. It builds trust. Asking opens the lines of communication. Whether or not the request is granted right now, later or not at all, asking states a need and learns the heart of the One on the throne. 

2. It builds faith. Faith is bold and risky. It doesn't come with a safety guarantee, it may lead to disappointment. But faith is the language of man to God, the language that points to deep and wholehearted belief in Jesus. Life lived in faith doesn't mean easy, it means fulfilling. Nothing moves the heart of God more than a wholehearted statement of belief that He is who He says He is and rewards those who seek Him. In fact, you cannot please Him without this kind of faith (Hebrews 11). 

This kind of asking may mean that we need to face some insecurity, some fear that we will be too needy. What is a loving relationship without honest dialogue? Without courageous asking? There is nothing to lose. Perhaps we are afraid of His answer? Friend, there is no guarantee of the answer you desire. 

But what happens when you enter into this throne room, you find a Father brimming with grace and goodness. You may even find that what you came to ask for wasn't what you really should be asking for. Once you open your eyes to see Him, really see him, you see that maybe you were settling. It's time to ask bigger, for now you know that He is able. May you be wide-eyed and expectant as you enter the throne room of grace. May you fight the fear that keeps you from asking and truly see the heart of your King this season.