Marathon, not a Sprint: a grace-filled, grown-up approach to life.

This season is different. It's changing me. My last season of life was just so full. It was full of very good, very ambitious things that I felt I was called to do. My days were filled with shepherding for a living, responding, being available, writing when I had time, and squeezing in homework on the side. All of this was happening while I was learning the dance of marriage. Not one of these things was bad. In fact, they all lined up with my strengths and pushed me one step closer to checking off boxes on my long list of dreams. 

I think maybe I bought into the lie that I needed to accomplish these dreams before life got too complicated. People say to travel and accomplish and pursue before you "settle down". I think I know what they mean by that - to not waste singleness because life doesn't get simpler. There is some wisdom in that advice, but I think it's built a hurried pace into my life. 

A few months ago I was scrambling to pump out words to fill a blog page. It wasn't enjoyable. I felt pressed for time and obligation stunted my creativity. I was preparing for another 30 day writing challenge for the month of October but this time I just didn't feel prepared. I was absolutely mystified when my husband looked at me and gently said, 

"Do you have to do this?" 

Have to? I want to! I think. Wait...why am I doing this?

I realized that the 30 day writing challenge was just one of several things that I was doing even though I didn't want to do them. My motivation? Not letting people down. Putting myself into a whirlwind of stress because "I do it every year". Obligation, with its grinding, unrelenting drive had pushed out the peaceful pace of the Holy Spirit. I noticed a raw resentment building in me that just wasn't me; a frustration with things that I normally love. That's what overcommitted people feel. 

Why does it all have to be done now? 

Life is a marathon not a sprint, after all. 

Not all dreams get fulfilled immediately. I'm not entitled to every desire right when I want it. There is much life to live still and my timeline is entirely too short-sighted. 

I'm all for being driven. I'm also not saying that there are times we have to do things we don't want to do (because welcome to being a grownup). But what voice are you letting dictate your pace? 

This season is different. It still feels weird, but I've untangled myself from a lot of commitments that it was time to let go of. I've put some dreams on hold. In a culture that tells us to pursue our dreams at any cost, I'm standing against the grind because I've found the cost to be too great. I still want to write that book, travel to that country, start that nonprofit. But the Lord is teaching me patience and I am so loving the side-by-side adventure where He sets the pace and I can finally enjoy the scenery. 

So life looks more basic.  I don't say yes to every opportunity. I get to enjoy a card game with my husband because we have more nights available now. I'm reading novels again. I am soaking up every moment of this simple, just-us life. Maybe someday (at the right time) the pace will pick up and I'll chase those ambitions again. 

All in good time, friends. You can trust that the God who planted those big dreams is faithful to bring a seed to fruition...in His time. 

Because life is a marathon, not a sprint.