What you need to know about your ENFP {life-of-the-party} friends.

There are some things you may not know about your ENFP friends. 

You know the type: outgoing, warm, playful, spontaneous, go-with-the-flow, like to make you laugh. You know, the ones who seem like nothing gets them down. 

That is me. Maybe it's you. If so, maybe you'll resonate with some of my new thoughts along my journey of self discovery. 

ENFP stands for Extraverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Perceiving. Those who are ENFP tend to quickly recognize and gravitate toward other ENFP's. You know them when you see them. We are our own breed of extraversion and enthusiasm. We are story tellers and influencers. Some of these characteristics may be broad generalizations but they seem to be consistent among my circle of fellow ENFP'ers. These are not meant to put anyone in a box, but rather to put words to some common traits, giving license to ENFPs to be uniquely who they are created to be. May you feel understood, not labeled! 

If you work with one, are raising one, are married to one or are one, here are some tips to understanding us/yourself better. 

1. Conflict is scary. It can feel like a relationship is in jeopardy (I will expound on why this is a big deal with number 5). It's not that we always run from conflict, but before we confront, we need to feel confident that it's really going to be worth it- that it'll lead to deeper connection, not burned bridges. It may take us longer to process conflict and we'd like to feel prepared to communicate our feelings well. If you are confronted by an ENFP friend, be comforted that there was much thought and prayer before that conversation. You will most likely come away shocked that something was even wrong in the first place. If all goes well, we hope you'll walk away reminded that you are cared for deeply. 

2. We seem chill, but inside our heads there's a lot going on! We care. Really. Our default is to laugh, but it doesn't mean we don't take things seriously. One of the worst fears of an ENFP is that we will be perceived as unintelligent...as if laughter and intellect cannot coexist. In reality, we can be some of the most creative, abstract thinkers but can easily be discouraged if a louder, more dominant personality seems to have a better idea. We have opinions! We care deeply! We also like to laugh. Don't assume we do not have the capacity to  do both in a balanced way. In order to maximize us, ask for our opinion and let us know you value what we bring to the table. 

3. We are sensitive souls. We laugh, but we may be hurt. We seem confident but we can be self conscious. Since conflict is not our knee-jerk reaction, it is often difficult for people to read our frustration. We often analyze our conversations after they happen, making sure that we did not say anything that could've caused any hurt. Because we love laughter, ENFP's can often be the focus of jokes. Sometimes these jokes are funny and make us feel known. Sometimes these jokes go too far and hurt even though we laugh with you. If you want to make sure you are not doing the latter, just ask us. We'll tell you. 

4. It's hard to turn intuition off. We get tired. Every gift has a dark side. Deep feelers can face some emotional pitfalls. A great strength of the ENFP is the ability to read people and social interactions. This greatly aids us in our relationships, workplaces and marriages. However this can lead to stress in group settings where there is perceived tension that is not evident to others. It's very difficult (maybe impossible?) to turn that intuition off. Many ENFPs will face psychological distress in these settings such as anxiety and depression. We are extraverted, but need our down time too; we need a space where we don't have to be "on". 

5. Relationships will always come first, sometimes at the expense of other important things. We are people people. We are motivated by connectedness. This relational gift can make our friends feel like they're the only person in the entire world. This can also appear to our more task-oriented friends that we are irresponsible with tasks. We do want to do things well, but our priority is relationships. For better or for worse! ENFP's can often run late if engrossed in a deep, meaningful conversation with someone they care about beforehand. We know we are weak in this area- so be patient with us! One thing is for sure: we know how to make people feel valued. Just ask our close friends.

6. WOO. We like to make people happy. This can either motivate (drive us to do something extra well) or hinder (turn us into a people-pleaser) depending on how we use this gift. At best, we are sensitive to the thoughts and opinions of others, ensuring that everyone has a voice. At worst we can get stuck if we feel we do not have approval from others. StrengthsQuest calls this quality "woo" (Win Others Over), which is a strength many ENFP's have. One fun part of being a woo is that we tend to make new friends quickly, giving us a wide variety of companions. 

If you ARE an ENFP, know that you are uniquely designed and bring life to your community! It's important that you lean into your strengths, avoiding comparison to other personalities. Be you. Love people. The world wouldn't be the same without you. 

If you know an ENFP, these thoughts may not be new but may they be used as you learn how to better love and relate to us. 

Creating Home { pt 2 } Repurposed & Rediscovered.

Some of my favorite words start with RE.

RElax

REfresh

REflect

REbalance

RE is a beautiful thing. Add this simple prefix to just any word and you get something new and beautiful. 

Today we're going to talk about 

Repurposing and Rediscovering 

in nesting. 

I am a firm believer that pieces of furniture are like little gems, waiting to be discovered and REinvented (See? Another one!) Maybe it's something you inherited from your grandmother. Maybe it's an olllllld wedding gift that now feels outdated. Maybe it's a little something tucked away at that second hand store. Does it call to you? With just a little attention, a trendy paint color, some new knobs, or a unique texture it could become a masterpiece. It doesn't have to be new to be nesting. 

Here's some practical (though not professional) repurposing tips from your friendly nester: 

1. Look for a solid, real wood furniture piece that has an attractive shape. Don't get too stuck on what color it is or what the knobs look like. The cosmetic stuff is easy to change. Try to imagine its new identity. You could make it pop! Just make sure it's a solid piece that could last your family a few years without falling apart. 

Project in progress: Look at this little beauty! I spotted this gem at a local Value Village. Never mind the missing knob, this side table was meant for me. The plan is to smooth away some of those blemishes with some sanding and add cute knobs. For now it sits next to my side of the bed, perfect and imperfect at the same. OH! And I only spent $7 on it. #WIN. 

2. Some pieces just need to be enhanced. 

I found this armoire at a pay-by-the-pound Goodwill for $30. I was drawn to its simple, rustic feel. The original plan was to paint it, but when I got it home and waited, the knottiness of the wood was simply too pretty to cover up with paint. What I didn't like was the layer of orangey varnish on it. So with a few hours of hand sanding, the orange was gone. The armoire was stunning and organic. I added cream to the knobs and this piece now sits majestically in our movie room. 

Paint is not always the answer! Sometimes your furniture just needs to be enhanced. The natural look is often the best. 

3. Choose your paint wisely. There are 2 things to consider when you want to repurpose: 

Is this the right color? 

Is this the right quality? 

I will always sing the praises of a glorious product that is called Annie Sloan Chalk Paint. For a raving imperfectionist like me, this stuff is perfect. NO prep, NO sanding, NO chemical smell, trendy and diverse color options, and it covers beautifully! My mom and I discovered it while visiting The big white goose store and knew it would change our creative methods forever. Let me tell you- it has. My favorite colors so far: Old Ochre and Duck Egg Blue. 

For more information about Chalk Paint, visit Annie's website. 

3. Sometimes it's NOT love at first sight. That was my experience with this 70's thrift store hutch. Put off by the color and glass, I almost walked away from it. Thankfully my mom has an eye for potential treasure. We stood there, staring and deliberating for about 30 minutes...

Hesitant, but trusting my mom's crafty gut, it came home with us. 

2 Coats of Duck Egg Blue chalk paint, lots of elbow grease, a little chicken wire AND...

Love grows. I am IN LOVE with this piece that was the pie safe in our wedding. It now serves as a place to display our fancy dishes, a faux display mantle, and a focal point in our home. 

4. Be innovative. Create new purposes for old things. When it comes to repurposing, there are no rules. This lovely antique door? Soon to be our headboard. Pictures to come...

Remember: Beauty is NOT when your home matches Pinterest or Martha Stewart magazine. Beautiful nesting happens when your creativity tells the story of your family.    

Happy thrifting!

Happy nesting! 

Just make sure it's truly an expression of YOU. 

Creating Home { pt 1 } To Nest.

Have you ever watched a bird create a nest? Its beady eyes jutting back and forth searching for the perfect twig, blade of grass, soft tuft. Eclectic ingredients intentionally selected and woven together with one thing in mind: to provide a warm, comfortable space for the family.  

I love to nest. 

The fun thing about nesting is that everybody's nest looks different. There is no secret ingredient. There is no perfect method. In fact, the more unique and imperfect it is the more beautiful it is. 

For the Watsons, nesting has taken a unique form. Our home is a small apartment inside of a borrowed space- a women's residence hall. Creativity wears a different hat when your options are limited. In my opinion, this is when creativity really shines. Here are a few ways to describe my nesting these days: 

Rearranging way too many times in 1 week. Sometimes I disassemble the living room. Add a new side table. Sometimes I just move cute little accents around. Change, that scary thing I usually avoid, is what makes nesting fun for me. My husband is used to coming home to something new and he thinks its silly but humors me. I think he realizes that a small inconvenience (like not being sure where to put his keys and wallet) is the unfolding of my creativity. So he just laughs and lets the nesting happen. Nesting is fun when you keep things fresh. 

Thrifty nifty. Our home represents the life we're choosing right now. Since we are committed to getting our school debt paid off, we are on a tight budget (which means I cannot just browse Target home decor anymore...) Our home is a hodgepodge of thrift store antiques or just pretty little things that catch my eye. You'd be surprised what you can find when others get rid of what they're bored of. I look for things that tell a story. It seems to make me feel connected to the homes of others. It doesn't have to be NEW to be nesting. 

Paint covers a multitude of sins. People. Have you heard of the miracle that is Annie Sloan chalk paint?! I love this stuff. It covers virtually ever surface with out having to pre-sand or strip before painting! And the colors are lovely. (You'll hear more about this paint in future posts). The biggest project my crafty mom and I took on was covering a 70's walnut hutch ($60, Salvation Army thrift store) with duck egg blue chalk paint. My hubby added chicken wire to display our fancy wedding dishes that we never use. I am IN LOVE with this piece. The cool thing is- you can do it too. Check out Big White Goose Store.

I think I love nesting because it's a  kind of creative expression I feel capable of contributing. There are times when I don't feel good at it. That mostly happens when I spend too much time on Pinterest trying to recreate a look or too much time browsing others' creations on Instagram. I think successful nesting, the beautiful kind, is measured by the uniqueness of those who dwell within its walls. When the style, the overall ambience and the accents tell the beautiful story of your family. Does it fit you? Is it nice to come home to? Do you want to invite others in? Then it's beautiful. That's nesting at its finest, folks. 

Comparison: when you're tempted to feel small.

I watched her hair bob as she excitedly shared her plans. The exuberant, confident 30 something spoke of her dreams and I put on my best listening face. Her husband was her biggest fan. She talked about her research, her ambitions, her story. I too started to believe that she was capable of attaining her most grandiose desires and nodded excitedly with her. Until...

That ugly feeling entered the scene. 

That unintentional sinking feeling when you realize that someone else shares your dream. And they may be better at it than you. 

My enthusiasm dampened, withdrawing to coddle my very puny looking idea in the shadow of her grand ambition. The ambition which I too had dreamed, aspired, hoped, prayed for. My usually encouraging self pulled back, unable to speak empowering words. Insignificance held my tongue. 

I reflected on the drive home. 

Why do I get all small when I hear of a pursuit that looks like mine? 

This plagued me most of the way down I5 South. 

So I started to nitpick my little baby steps that I'd already taken. I questioned my usefulness, even the validity of my big dream. Maybe it's just too big for small me. 

Ever felt this way? 

What is that feeling called, exactly? 
Comparison. 

That sticky, poky, nosey little creature that slithers in to evoke insecurity. Its shifting eyes look back and forth between you and others, pointing out dutifully every little way that others are just better. Skinnier. Smarter. Funnier. Just better than little you. And you shrink down, down, down and up go walls to protect the insignificant you. The small you. 

I am convinced that nothing threatens to shake my identity and calling more than comparison. The weird thing about it is that comparison shows me the bravest, most beautiful, seemingly flawless snapshots of others. Not the times they mess up, have a bad hair day, cry really hard or get impatient. How in the world can everything I know about myself EVER match the flawless snapshots I see? 

I'm thinking that this enthusiastic 30 something probably questioned her dream too. Maybe it even happened yesterday. Maybe there is someone she feels small next to. 

When I consider all of this and, setting comparison aside, let the Lord inform my perceptions, the dream He's given me reappears. I dust it back off and take a look. Its bright colors fill my imagination, giving me hope. If I keep my eyes off of others and lock my gaze on the Giver of all good gifts, I remember my divine usefulness. I won't do it like she does. To do so would mean forfeiting my uniqueness. 

I think I'd rather pursue my big dream in a way that only I can. And that's more than enough.

A prayer for when I lack. { John 15 }

Oh Lord, my Provider
today I lack. 

So I recall your promise to me. 

You are trustworthy. You have always kept your promise. 

Remain in Me. Abide in my love. 

 Remain, stay, continue, live, set up camp under the protection of your love.

Do this and fruit will abound. 

Apart from me you can do nothing. 

My efforts 

My striving
My best intentions devoid of you are flat and useless. 


I have told you this so that you can 
have JOY- real and complete. 
Where is the joy when I strive and struggle? 
Take me back to that spacious place
That vast expanse under the covering of your love. 


Remain in Me. Abide in my love. 
Help me to put down roots, 
set up my makeshift tent, this temporary dwelling under your wings.
Teach me to be still and soak in the melody of your truth
that in that vast expanse I may discover my belovedness 
And yield fruit that they will know I am yours. 

{ John 15 }

The joy of duty: when you don't feel like it.

Sometimes the pace of life is sluggish and you just don't feel like it. 

Can you relate? 

In these times I guilt trip myself. As a a big feeler (like capital F in the ENFP), someone who confidently wears my feelings on my sleeve and feels relatively in touch with the day-to-day emotions a woman typically experiences, these times scare me. Apathy is not a regular thing. Yet as I get older, apathy pays me a visit more regularly and I have to choose what to do with it. 

Here's what I'm learning to do when I just don't feel like it. 

First, I examine. Apathy is usually a secondary emotion, a symptom of a greater issue that needs treating. What's happening in my heart, between me and the Lord, between me and my husband, between me and my other relationships? What's the state of my soul? Sometimes there is a festering wound, growing in dark solitude, untended to and in need of healing. Sometimes it's just an attitude adjustment. Do I need to seek resolution with someone? Confess sin? Maybe even just have a frank, truth-filled, kick-in-the-butt pep talk to get back on my feet? 

Next, I choose the joy that accompanies duty . Not feeling like it can manipulate you into believing that you are at the mercy of your emotions. Not true. You have more of an influence than you think. Sometimes apathy is present because a decision needs to be made in your heart. The decision to just be faithful with what's in front of you. 

Duty gets a bad rap. Our entitled culture communicates that we have the right to only do what we want when we feel like it. This is all well and good, some of my best work is done when I am passionately engulfed in what's in front of me. But sometimes I'm just not. It's time to dust off duty, reexamine its usefulness and employ it. Not because it's good to be fake, but because it's good to be committed. It's good to be faithful. Duty brings an uncommon joy- something different, rich and meaningful. It does something in my spirit. What's funny about duty is that when I choose it and the feelings aren't there, oftentimes the feelings come...later. But they do come. And my heart, the little entitled girl inside, starts to grow up. I am no longer dragged around by feelings, they start to yield to my decision to just be faithful. 

Don't give up on duty. Don't put too much stock in feelings. Life's a dance of juggling both. And next time you just don't feel like it, it's okay. You're not alone. Choose faithful and those feelings may follow. 

Pilgrimage: Don't get too comfortable.

I realized something for perhaps the first time today. 

Can I be really honest? I've been really disappointed in humanity lately. The bandwagons people jump on about things they know very little about. Poor choices without little or no remorse- choices with consequences that wound community. TRUE injustices and world crises that are ignored by media. Friends I once shared life with are spiritually apathetic, completely unfazed. Mediocrity, relativity, passivity. 

It's worried me that I've been so disappointed. Am I just cynical? Am I judgmental? 

This is what I've realized: my disappointment comes from a deep sadness. Sadness that we have forgotten our pilgrimage. We have simply accepted what is, this temporary tent of a home, this shadow of what is to come. We've accepted it and stopped longing for more. We've let go of the promise of eternity handed down to us from our forefathers, shrugging it off because it's something reason doesn't readily keep in our short-sighted view. So we keep our heads down, trudging onward with heavy baggage, fickle feelings as the captain. And this temporary land that will pass away keeps shocking us. But why? 

Maybe we're tired of waiting for fulfillment of that promise of eternity? Maybe it just seems too far-fetched? Maybe this earthly tent is just too comfortable? 

It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased. ~C.S. Lewis

What if we embraced life as a holy pilgrimage, a journey with a destination of glory? What if we accepted that 

1. The journey will be hard, we will ache as we wait and anticipate.  

2. We are promised the presence of our Savior. He will provide joy, sustenance, and peace along the way. 

3. This journey will be misunderstood. To blend into our surroundings would be to discredit the Almighty One, like insisting on making mud pies when offered a holiday at the sea. 

4. Instant gratification feels good now but neglects the soul. A pilgrim knows that longings are not met instantly. His eyes are fixed on the permanent, heavenly dwelling ahead and waits in quiet trust. 

As a pilgrim I have something that others don't. 

I have hope of what is to come. Hope that doesn't come from the president we vote into office, the laws legislators pass, or the state of our nation. Hope that's an anchor for my soul (Hebrews 6:19)

I have an unconventional, misunderstood life. It's going to look different. As easy as it would be to build my life around the cultural norms and opinions of others, I align my decisions with a different standard. The standard set by the Creator who transforms my mind and heart (Romans 12:2)

I have a guarantee. There's little in this life that you can bank on, but I bank on this truth. While I live in a makeshift tent, longing and groaning for my Lord's return, I never have to question His promise. The Spirit, His gift to me, instructs my heart to wait in full confidence. 

(2 Corinthians 5) 

May we remember our pilgrimage, linking arms with our fellow travelers. May our eyes be fixed on future glory. May we long deeply for more than this world can offer and remember that it will at last be met in Jesus Christ.