Let's review. In part 1 of this wisdom series, we
discussed the value of Christians being compassionate listeners when facing
brokenness. It's not an accident that I listed listening first. Listening
should always be number 1.
We've covered how we should receive information
(input) but what about how we engage people (output)?
We are so good at output.
In an age of #nofilter and #letsbehonest, output
typically comes in the form of a trigger-friendly "share" button.
Pair a shared article from a not-so-reputable source with a powerfully worded
description and voila! You've changed the world by changing everyone's
minds.
Come on, now. We all know that's not possible. Yet
why do we behave that way on social media? Words fly freely, emotions run high.
Would these types of interactions even happen if we were to sit down and try to
have them face to face?
Why are we all trying to pick fights? Don't we know
we can't change the world simply by yelling over each other on Facebook? For
the love.
Which brings me to my second point.
Part 2. The World needs Responders NOT Reactors.
Don't think there's a difference?
A reactor:
•
Acts on emotion
•
Is usually defensive
•
Responds quickly- almost like a knee-jerk reaction
to a situation
•
Doesn't wait to get all the information
A Responder:
•
Delays their reply
•
Uses reasoning skills
•
Takes a more thorough approach that balances logic
and emotion
•
Tries to take back for a more well-rounded
perspective
I'm willing to bet
that over 90% of people use the reactor approach. We get uncomfortable with
someone's viewpoint, we make a judgment about what their words mean, then we
take a defensive position. The result is sad and very familiar. It adds up to a
bunch of people running around defending themselves and spewing
emotionally-charged opinions at each other. There is no listening, there is no
compromising, there is no peace.
You know what the world
needs from Christians? Steady, wise responders. People who wait to get all the
information before jumping on a bandwagon. People who are willing to let go of
their "right" to be heard first. People who can step back, count to
10, then prayerfully respond. People who are okay with not sharing their
opinion at all, in some cases. We must learn that we don't always need to
"win" ethical/political battles. Our aim is to "win" hearts
for the Kingdom.
How do we learn how
to become wise responders?
It all begins and
ends with dependence on the Holy Spirit. He is the one who guides, advises and
brings truth. Take cues from Him. Start learning to listen to His direction,
then trust it.
Also, may I suggest
a face-to-face conversation about hard topics? About broken things? It's much
easier to read people and see the person across from you as a human (just
like you!) rather than the enemy. Also, it's much harder to be a reactor when
you have to think things through and speak real live words from your mouth
instead of shooting poison arrows through the keys of your keyboard. Just a
thought.
This is another
thing the world needs from Christians. Can you feel the hope? The health?
That's wisdom calling. Let's respond together.
