It's in the Quiet I Know

I am finding that it's not enough to decide that you are sufficient in the loud, maddening stress. When I am aware of my need for you. I must purpose in my heart that you are sufficient when I'm alone and it's quiet. When it's calm and the urgent things die down. In the quiet, I am forced to face the fears of my soul head on. The feelings I wish to avoid catch up with me. There is no one to distract me, or to look to for affirmation that I so dearly need from you. It's when I slow down that I encounter the Divine. This encounter does not always mean easy. It means a confrontation- the realization that I feel lonely, uncertain, not nearly as put together as I wish to be, insecure and needy. All that I am lies completely exposed before you. I cannot hide or run away with the noise. My "what if"s and "should have"s are revelealed for what they truly are. I tell you what I feel, remind you of what I most long for, stop holding back the tears. And when all my darkest things have come out, after my very honest self-appraisal, when I have finally made myself slow down enough to stare honesty in the face... you meet me there. Tender eyes seeing, compassionate heart beating in rhythm with mine. You whisper hope. I am understood. Warm relief fills me as I mouth a silent "thank you". And it's in the quiet I know you are enough.